a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
