Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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