when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
