Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
