Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
