I smell stomach acid.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
These tits shall not be calmed
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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