If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize