ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
