I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
