I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
