drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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