I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
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