last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
