How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
