hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
