Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
