I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
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I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize