I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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