I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
