ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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