i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.