You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame