I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.