I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
