So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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