everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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