your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
