Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
