before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize