Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
