What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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