So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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