Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
