I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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