What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Say something about gay babies.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
