glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
