But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
