he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Congratulations! We have a period
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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