Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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