Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
