I heard we made out
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
