you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
