i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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