Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There's always time for handjobs
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
