so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
