hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
