Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Please don't give away my fajitas
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