i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
