Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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