She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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