dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize