is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
