You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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