Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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