I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
