Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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