I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
