You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
